Spiritual sex encompasses sexual energy that goes beyond physical sensations of pleasure, genital orgasms and even the loving connection of sexual communion. Energy generated by sexuality can be transmuted into such experiences as: healing the body-mind-spirit, visualization, divining visions and balancing the genders through joining with universal energy. The more cosmic experiences utilizing sexual energy are most likely to occur in ecstatic consciousness states. The ancients believed that ecstatic union with the Source was the ultimate expression of sexuality.
Experiences of sexual energy that go far beyond ordinary reality can be terrifying without training in what to expect. Attaining ecstatic states through sexual interaction may evoke disbelief or fear in some because it involves loss of the sense of the physical body. The concept that we are more than mere physical bodies may be difficult to accept at first. In fact we are an organized combination of several energy systems around a unifying field. If we could see the subtle energy around us, each of us would look somewhat like a “luminous egg.”
One does not have to spend years in training to experience spontaneous, spiritual sex but it may be necessary to be receptive to the possibility of connecting higher states of awareness with peak sexual experiences. Many people who become interested in spiritual sex have had initial spontaneous ecstatic experiences. Spiritual sex is unlike the traditional process of genital stimulation and the release of tension through orgasm. When it is consciously practiced, there is a quality of “mindfulness,” which is heightened awareness and expanded consciousness. Descriptions of cosmic experiences of orgasm are similar to “near-death” stories recounted by many people. They are also similar to descriptions of ecstatic, religious transformations described in writings by revered historical figures.
The common themes in near-death encounters, religious transformations and cosmic orgasms are descriptions of extraordinary light, luminous colors, loss of the sense of a physical body and merging with energy. There are also common descriptions of seeing the past and future, traveling across time and space or overwhelming feelings of pure love. The following example is reported by a 60 year-old woman who had been having spontaneous, cosmic orgasms since childhood.
Megan had known a male friend for several years, and they shared an interest in spiritual healing. On this occasion they interacted sexually for the first and only time. She said, “the whole night was a powerful feeling of dancing in the energy. I did not know where he began and I left off. It was beyond genital sex. The full body orgasms I experienced moved through both of us and swirled around us, appearing as a rainbow of molecular lights.” Her body had been a perfect conductor of the Life Force energy and she had transmuted this power effortlessly but her partner’s body had been overwhelmed by the surge of power that she had been capable of handling. He felt sick the next day. Megan’s partner was clearly operating at a different level of energy from Megan and therefore the experience felt dissonant to him. He chose not to continue to participate in any further sexual relationship, which wounded and confused her.
Megan’s story illustrates the spontaneous link between sex and spiritual states and it highlights a dilemma with partner sex. Many other women have had similar experiences with a partner who negatively reacted to the overwhelming intensity of such sexual energy.
Three Levels of Sexual Energy
Megan’s experience, as well as that of other women who have moved into spiritual ecstasy, was that her partner could not tolerate her sexual response because it seemed “too intense.” You may have had a similar experience. Although it is not always necessary for your partner to be at the same intense level of sexuality, when he is not, it is common for the experience to feel dissonant.
It is helpful to understand that three different levels of sexual energy are possible: genital pleasuring, conscious loving, and spiritual union. Each level is sex-positive and life-affirming and has a value in healing. Each type of sexual energy can heal at the physical, relational or cosmic level. They are not sharply delineated one from the other but are on a continuum of energy generated and energy received, activating various energy centers in the body. They differ from each other in the purpose and meaning attributed to the sexual interaction.
Genital pleasuring refers to the energy level generated, not the particular physical activity. The feminine way of genital pleasuring, especially, attends to the sensual process unfolding rather than a race towards orgasm. The energy received through genital pleasuring is manifested in physical sensations of intense pleasure. Orgasm at the level of genital pleasuring is a release of tension. Healing at this level of sexual energy is directed towards physical functions. Orgasm benefits the immune system and also promotes relaxation and a sense of well-being. The purpose is recreation; to play, enjoy the moment and relax in the pleasures of physical stimulation. It is mutually beneficial, consensual pleasure.
This level of sexual energy generates intense, loving feelings for the partner. The “valley orgasm,” as it is called in the Tantric tradition, goes beyond the release of tension in genital orgasm. It requires practice in relaxing into sexual feelings and slowing down the build up of tension in order to prevent sudden dissipation of sexual energy. The energy received is divine love. The heart chakra rather than the genital chakra becomes the focal point. The practice of conscious loving generates energy from the heart. The meaning of this level of sexual energy is connection, reinforcing commitment in a long-term relationship. The healing comes from loving communion, enhancing the bond with the partner. Conscious loving facilitates balancing male-female energy in the relationship that is very effective for maintaining harmony between partners.
The energy generated by this level of sexuality is ecstasy. The meaning of Spiritual Union is enhanced awareness, inspiration and merging with the Life Force. The purpose for sexuality at this level is to unite with the Source. The energy received at this level is inspiration/illumination that can be translated into divine guidance or simply experienced as pure bliss. Cosmic orgasm is a completely different experience because it is multi-dimensional and has an infinite variety of patterns. Genital Pleasuring and Conscious Loving are not separate from this experience but incorporated as an integral part of it.
If you choose to practice this with a partner, you will need to communicate clearly with each other about your expectations. It is important to recognize that your experiences of transcendence will be unique from your partner’s. However, it is helpful to feel a conscious bond with your partner. You will need to foster the psychological mind set of healing and mutual empowerment in a setting which honors the other as divine God/Goddess.
Linda E. Savage, Ph.D. is a licensed psychologist and sex therapist who has been exploring the mysteries of sexual healing for over 25 years. Dr. Savage is the author of Reclaiming Goddess Sexuality: The Power of the Feminine Way (Hay House) which presents a view of women’s sexuality that blends the ancient wisdom of the Goddess cultures with current clinical knowledge.